What’s in a Prayer

When I woke up the morning my daughter decided to leave my grandson with his aunt, I walked to his and her room to, I guess, verify that she had actually taken him.  The first day I would be without my grandson. I returned to my bed and cried. Here’s the beginning.

I had always wanted my girls to be better mothers to their children than I have been to them. And when my daughter made a bad choice, by my standards, I became frustrated and let her know of my disapproval. As a teenage mother, my daughter refuses to accept my standards and usually gets mad and finds ways to rebel. And so, she decided to take my grandson to his aunt’s house instead of leaving him with me.  I have taken care of this child everyday for the last four months. He is part of me.  During the entire disagreement, I knew she would rebel by keeping him from us and I tried to prepare and tell myself it was the best thing for her.  I need her to grow up and take more responsibility and accountability as a mom.  But that Monday morning, my strength wore thin and I broke down.

I prayed in a loud voice that God grant me understanding, strength and patience to be able to accept the difficulty in parenting my daughter.  Seems I cried more, but I actually felt my heart breaking into a million pieces.  Then I asked Mother Mary’s intercession and asked for peace.  I didn’t pray those words out loud.  I knew Mother Mary understood a mother’s pain and all I did was say her name and peace fell upon me in that moment.  I didn’t officially end my prayer with an AMEN. I just stood, walked to my bathroom, wiped my tears and breathed!  I breathed and found a sense of understanding. I was able to understand what it means to “leave your worries in God’s hands”.  He would take care of everything I asked for.

My prayer was full of wants, but all it took was to feel my words and let go, so that God could work.  What’s in a prayer: Faith! Sincere words, and Surrender! In a time of desperateness, I finally learned to surrender.

I’m having to let God take care of many things these days, but I’ve had to learn to SURRENDER my all to find peace.

My first words.

My first words will seem my life is full of disappointments, but in reality my life is a great blessing.  But this post will serve as a reminder of hope where despair would seem prominent some days. And my HOPE will be that my soul will find peace among hard choices when teaching my children life lessons and trying to keep them rooted in a strong faith. I have always felt God’s presence in my life, but holding tight to His hand is sometimes a struggle because I like to be in control. Now, as my children enter life as adults, I will try harder to hold, not only God’s hand, but clench tightly to His Holy Spirit, because my soul needs rest.

My help comes from the Lord!!

It will also be my joy to share my family’s happy moments so that any sadness, disappointments and growing pains will become the delicious fruit our faithful God promises His children.

Be blessed, find God’s peace and hold His hand always.