Opportunities Come with Patience

I need a job! I kept telling myself I had to find a job even if it was to have the extra money to offset what my husband was paying for healthcare.

I was being picky about the job I searched for. I wanted a part-time job with flexible hours and good pay. I wanted to be able to keep my grandson and work the hours that I wanted. I wanted benefits…….me, me, me!!!!!

I started applying for those jobs, thinking I could get any job. Applying for three jobs, and three interviews, I had nothing. At one point, after the interview, I prayed and asked God to not consider that job for me, but if it was meant to be, I would work my tail off.  God knew where I needed to be.

Then a friend told me about a position that I thought I didn’t deserve. I said, “I’ll apply and just see what happens.”

A few days later I received a voice mail asking me to return the call for an interview. I didn’t get my hopes up, but I went in with a positive attitude as I did with all the other interviews. The VP explained to me she didn’t know what the salary was, I wasn’t worried about the salary. Then she explained the benefits and I became nervous. The thing my family needed most was  dependent on this interview. After the interview I felt I had really connected with the interviewer, Vice President for Student Affairs.

She had shared with me that she would be a grandmother soon and so I didn’t call until after her grandson was born. When I called, the VP said she was about to call me and offer me the position. I was ecstatic, overwhelmed and soooo grateful for the blessing.

God is AMAZING! I couldn’t stop praising His name!! I had to be patient, that was all. God knew my heart, He knew my family’s needs. And He knew what I could handle. It had to be the right job with the right combination. How many more blessings could I hold…..MY boss!!! She is one of the most understanding people I have come to know. Even more, people who love their job and extend a helping hand to make our college the best place to work for.

Now I can add ALL these people to my wonderful world of FAMILY!!!! 

To be blessed is to find God’s hand in every single minute of our lives. Patience is everything!!!

At the Day’s End

At the end of the day, when rest finally steps around, my mind begins to sort through all the bustle. Every word I used, the smiles or frowns I exchanged, or the glances I gave, are now ready to be evaluated. Was every word used to express love? Did my smile brighten someone’s day? Or did my blank stare cause someone to be uncomfortable? Was my day offered to God, in the name of His Son? Was God pleased with me, His servant?

At day’s end, I want to feel certain, that at least one person saw Christ in me. Hopefully, someone was able to see good in life, because I decided to be an example. 

At day’s end, I can relax and know I did my best because I kept near to God and held tight to His hand.

Shut my mouth, Open my mind

Things get better with age. Wisdom is the perfection of judgement in a world of differences. This is the way I see it. Of course, as we get older, we become wiser. Wisdom becomes our measuring stick, allowing us to weigh our differences and open our minds. Through this process, we learn when to speak our minds or when to open it, by staying quiet.

This is a difficult process in itself, because we live in a world where we are taught to speak our mind without filters. 

Today, I finally put into practice  what I have always tried to live by… just keep my mouth shut. When I keep quiet, I realized how much easier it is to be peaceful.

God allows us opportunities to practice what we learn. God’s mercy is so much greater than we imagine. If we just keep Him within arms’ reach, we will always be able to “Be still and know that [He] is God…” We will keep our mouths shut and open our minds to be better people!

Grace

My life is about Graces, gifted to me through my husband, daughters and grandson. As I watch them grow, I learn how my expectations and prayers are not in my control. Therefore, in my writing, I learn to stand back and see myself in a different light; the light God placed in my heart. When I begin to sort through my emotions, God guides my mind to see the graces he planted in my family. Graces and blessings begin to form in the rubble of disappointment, anger, and control. When I finally loose control of the things I hold tightly, I remember to reach for God’s hand and allow his gentle touch to soothe my broken heart and renew my spirit. In all my anger, I realize my frailties and I ask God’s forgiveness. Then GRACE envelopes my soul and calm renews my spirit. Now I can start another day in God’s grace. 

God’s Calling!!! Answer the Phone!

A couple of months ago, I met with our Parish priest for some spiritual direction. One of my main concerns was my children and their life styles. Months before, actually almost a year ago, I started to step back and look back at my parenting approach and found I had let go of God’s hand when it came to raising my children. I had started to be more controling, using God’s plan as my excuse to being so strict. But in the process, I discovered that I had stopped SERVING God and looked more into helping my husband make “star athletes” of our children. In the all consuming “job” of keeping up with all the practices and games, I lost God. I stopped serving at church, I stopped being a minister to others, I stopped being a light for our God. Most importantly, I stopped being an example to my children

Trying to find my way back would mean going against my daughters’ and husband’s one passion, softball. To this day, I have not crossed that bridge.

As God continued to pull at my heart to serve more, our parish priest asked me to help in a campaign to raise money for new facilities at our parish. I immediately said YES! There was no need to ponder the situation because I knew if I waited any longer I would come up with an excuse NOT to participate. And so I started the small project to design the campaign material.

A couple of weeks later, I was asked to help sing at the Saturday evening Mass. Of course I said YES. I was already helping with the Sunday Spanish choir. Fulfillment!

Answering God’s call isn’t as easy as I made it seem. It took years to realize the importance and then decide to answer. But I’m grateful to be able to help.

My next goal: find a ministry to help the less fortunate. I pray God gives me the strength and ability to fulfill my mission. I want to be able to make a difference. I’ll listen more closely to God’s next phone call…. Lord it is I, your servant.

Ring Ring!!!!! Pick up your phone….

Living On A Prayer

A few years back, I had jotted down a quote by Bob Pierce on a sticky note. The note was to help me live a more fulfilling life. Little did I know God would answer that prayer so deeply. Now I know why my heart breaks when it comes to my children. 

“Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God.” -Bob Pierce, World Vision. 

I also learned God’s mercy and grace prevail throughout any obstacle if you can find the blessing. 

 
After reading about Pierce, I never would’ve imagined his mission work would begin with a battered and abandoned child. If we all had a heart like Pierce, this world would be a better place today. Pierce suffered from leukemia, which took his life. What an inspiration!

Although my heart-break is different from Pierce’s, my children are still my mission, to make them better servants of God’s Word in a world full of earthly desires. My heart breaks when my children seem to loose their way in the faith and begin to wonder off into a world where sometimes there’s no return. And that scares me. 

I recently began meeting with our parish priest to help me find spiritual direction in raising young adults today. He reassured me that even though my children would loose their way some days, they would find their way back and return with more faith than before. 

And so I find myself changing my perspective on life so that I may become a better servant of God’s Word and be the example my children need. If my heart breaks in the process, I will know that God is answering my prayer, therefore I’m living on [a] prayer. I now believe the more my heart breaks, the more I open my mind to His will. May it be done according to His will. 

#prayer #livingonaprayer #heartbreak #lovemychildren #BobPierce

What’s in a Prayer

When I woke up the morning my daughter decided to leave my grandson with his aunt, I walked to his and her room to, I guess, verify that she had actually taken him.  The first day I would be without my grandson. I returned to my bed and cried. Here’s the beginning.

I had always wanted my girls to be better mothers to their children than I have been to them. And when my daughter made a bad choice, by my standards, I became frustrated and let her know of my disapproval. As a teenage mother, my daughter refuses to accept my standards and usually gets mad and finds ways to rebel. And so, she decided to take my grandson to his aunt’s house instead of leaving him with me.  I have taken care of this child everyday for the last four months. He is part of me.  During the entire disagreement, I knew she would rebel by keeping him from us and I tried to prepare and tell myself it was the best thing for her.  I need her to grow up and take more responsibility and accountability as a mom.  But that Monday morning, my strength wore thin and I broke down.

I prayed in a loud voice that God grant me understanding, strength and patience to be able to accept the difficulty in parenting my daughter.  Seems I cried more, but I actually felt my heart breaking into a million pieces.  Then I asked Mother Mary’s intercession and asked for peace.  I didn’t pray those words out loud.  I knew Mother Mary understood a mother’s pain and all I did was say her name and peace fell upon me in that moment.  I didn’t officially end my prayer with an AMEN. I just stood, walked to my bathroom, wiped my tears and breathed!  I breathed and found a sense of understanding. I was able to understand what it means to “leave your worries in God’s hands”.  He would take care of everything I asked for.

My prayer was full of wants, but all it took was to feel my words and let go, so that God could work.  What’s in a prayer: Faith! Sincere words, and Surrender! In a time of desperateness, I finally learned to surrender.

I’m having to let God take care of many things these days, but I’ve had to learn to SURRENDER my all to find peace.

My first words.

My first words will seem my life is full of disappointments, but in reality my life is a great blessing.  But this post will serve as a reminder of hope where despair would seem prominent some days. And my HOPE will be that my soul will find peace among hard choices when teaching my children life lessons and trying to keep them rooted in a strong faith. I have always felt God’s presence in my life, but holding tight to His hand is sometimes a struggle because I like to be in control. Now, as my children enter life as adults, I will try harder to hold, not only God’s hand, but clench tightly to His Holy Spirit, because my soul needs rest.

My help comes from the Lord!!

It will also be my joy to share my family’s happy moments so that any sadness, disappointments and growing pains will become the delicious fruit our faithful God promises His children.

Be blessed, find God’s peace and hold His hand always.